Hi,
I Couldn't finish what
I intended to post today so please allow me to re-post something from one of my previous
blogs; something I wrote few years back. Many things in my life( and in the
world too) have changed since then; but some have stayed the same. I wrote this
post standing in the that space, which exists in the folds of a world which
changes yet stays the same.
It's titled " Mirror Mirror on the Wall"
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
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| Who is this guy? |
Welcome
to my blog.
A
place where I intend to curate a world of my writings, my forthcoming books,
interesting conversations and much more.
Something
which I always wanted to do because of my belief that every life has a story;
in fact many stories. Some sweet, some bitter, some perhaps tasteless and a
few, hmm…. let's say having a lingering aftertaste, and I feel that a blog is a
good place to share them, interactively.
Which
I wished to do much earlier but for some barriers which prevented me from doing
so.
First
one being none other than Adam Smith, the founder of free market economy who
perhaps very rightly taught this world, that the way to economic prosperity is
through rational self-interest and competition which I took very-very
seriously, pursuing self-interest and all that jazz in “Fortune 500s” of this
world.
And
the second and the more serious one being the potent virtue of procrastination which ensured that I
witness all these stories passively, without taking any action on the calling
which lay dormant in some recess of my heart.
But
just by chance one day an overruling act of providence broke my slumber. It
came in the form of “Bruno”, my
beagle, and I am pretty sure that when Aristotle
gave the concepts of “potentiality and actuality” trying to
differentiate the possibility a thing might have, from the actual fulfillment
of that possibility, he definitely must have included a beagle in his list of
subjects for deciphering this dichotomy.
Bruno
is fully actualized potentiality which means he is perpetually kinetic. It so
happened that one fine morning when I was getting ready for office, Bruno for
the very first time in his life sneaked into our dressing room which normally
is out-of-bounds for him. I was struggling with my necktie in the full length
mirror when suddenly I saw Bruno standing by my side peeping at me from the
mirror. He obviously saw me, actually two of me, one outside the mirror and one
inside it and got royally confused, which I gathered from that “ how weird is this” look on his face,
typical of a beagle.
And
then he saw himself and was shocked. He moved back a few feet growling and was
at his wit's end when he saw the dog in the mirror too ceding ground. Bruno
grunted and charged at the mirror and was flabbergasted to see the other dog
grunt and groan too. This went on for about fifteen minutes before (perhaps) he
understood that it was nobody else but him in the mirror.
The
next morning as I was getting ready for office (this time with the dressing
room door closed), Bruno started scratching the door from outside giving out
those typical beagle wailing sounds which come out only when they want
something. He was asking me to open the door. I allowed him in, and without
wasting any time in niceties like wagging his tail or licking my hands, he
straightaway proceeded to the mirror with a real nice swagger. He touched the
mirror with his claws touching his image and then gave out a typical “Bruno
chuckle” this time wagging his tail quite profusely. Then he receded back, then
sideways, then again walked towards the mirror and this went on for quite some
time.
He was
thoroughly enjoying himself.
From that day
on it became our daily ritual when Bruno would come inside the room to have a
really nice time with “his self” in
the mirror.He seemed to
have fallen in love with what he saw in the mirror.
I
was quite worked out those days because of extreme work pressure and although I
was doing well but had no clue where my life was going. Maybe I was a perfect
example of Gurdjieff’s automaton- somebody who lives his life in a state
of sleep not having the ability to perceive reality.
Then
one day while getting ready I looked at somebody in the mirror and quite
strangely my heart skipped a beat. I
was not in sync with the person who looked back at me. In many ways it was like
looking at a stranger. That
day I couldn’t focus much on work and I don’t know from where these lines came
out of me.
I
wrote it in Hindi and titled it "दर्पण" and translated it in English as
" Mirror". Am presenting both version here.
Mirror
One day
suddenly
standing in
front of the mirror I felt
that it’s been
ages since I met
myself.
In the jungle
of life
by attaining
speed
my boundaries expanded
but
somewhere I
separated, from myself.
I sometimes
think that one day, someday
I will meet
myself
and ask “Where
have you been?”
“ What was your
search?”
But till that
happens,
there is the
jungle, there is the speed,
there is the
boundary and the breach of it
What is not is
a meeting with myself..
दर्पण
एक दिन अचानक
दर्पण को देख, मुझे यह लगा,
कि है मुझे जरूरत,
खुद से मुलाकात की..
जीवन के अरण्य में ,
गति को पाकर,
विस्तार तो हुआ मेरी सीमा का,
किन्तु, मैं, मुझसे हुआ जुदा..
सोचता हूँ, एक दिन.. शायद एक दिन,,
मिलूँगा खुद से,
और पूछुंगा
की क्या तलाश है तुझे ..
किन्तु तब तक
अरण्य है...गति है,
सीमा है, सीमा का उल्लंघन है
नहीं है बस, मुलाकात ....खुद से
दर्पण को देख, मुझे यह लगा,
कि है मुझे जरूरत,
खुद से मुलाकात की..
जीवन के अरण्य में ,
गति को पाकर,
विस्तार तो हुआ मेरी सीमा का,
किन्तु, मैं, मुझसे हुआ जुदा..
सोचता हूँ, एक दिन.. शायद एक दिन,,
मिलूँगा खुद से,
और पूछुंगा
की क्या तलाश है तुझे ..
किन्तु तब तक
अरण्य है...गति है,
सीमा है, सीमा का उल्लंघन है
नहीं है बस, मुलाकात ....खुद से
Penning down
these lines in itself was quite therapeutic and I knew that if kept on looking
inside, one day I will find and meet that stranger, that “me” , who looked back
at me when I stood in front of a mirror.
The process has
started and I hope that this time I won’t let me leave me.
Have a
fantastic weekend and keep checking out this space.
Cheers
Vivek
